Days Twenty-Eight and Twenty-Nine

\

I've never, ever been one for transition. As far as I've always been concerned, "transition" translated to "lack of safety,"--a feeling without closure, like all you can do is wait for your feet to touch ground again. For the longest time, I was of the belief that if I wasn't moving toward something specific, then I wasn't moving at all. That's a hard thing to be okay with. 

I'm slowly learning that it's not consistency and safety and destinations that teach us. It's the things that we're genuinely unsure about. It's the times when our heads are so murky, we can't even decipher one thought from another from another. It's having the awareness to realize that you've been uprooted, as well as the self-restraint to keep yourself from running toward the first out you find. The balls to stay rooted in uprootedness, so to speak, so we can learn that adventure's never something we find in our own backyards. 

Sorry about the lack of updates, you guys. I've kind of been busy transitioning. 

• Show two four people how much they mean to me

(1). Called the lovely Maria to say hello and catch up. She didn't pick up, and we've been playing phone-tag ever since, but I left her a voicemail to let her know I was thinking of her. 

(2).  Cleared my schedule and went a bit out of my way to see a Miss Caitlyn, who was throwing a party at her house a couple towns away and had asked me to be there. 

(3).  Cleared my schedule and went a bit out of my way to see a Miss Suzanne, whom I was really close with in high school, but haven't had much of a chance to spend time with since. She was visiting New Paltz this weekend, and it was absolutely incredible to chill with her again.

(4). Covered a couple games of pool so me and this guy could try to stop sucking so much. No improvement was made and  there was many an accidental sink of the eight ball. Good stuff. 

Help out a two stranger[s]

Picked up three (#overachieving) of Caitlyn's friends on the way to her party; they live on campus and had no other ride, so I offered to bring them with me. 

• Live instead of sleeping thinking

This whole weekend's been an onslaught of impulsiveness, and not just because I've killed enough brain cells in the past two days to severely inhibit my decision-making. Just kidding. But really, things just seemed to pan out in an effortless-stepping-stone kind of way, and going with the flow turned out to be a lot easier than I'd previously anticipated. 

• Do something good for myself, by myself

Burned some more sage and did another cleansing. Seriously, this stuff's the best. I recommend it to anyone who A). Feels an unwarranted emotional imbalance, B). Senses a constant negativity in his/her surroundings, C). Has pyromaniacal tendencies, D). Would like to experience a smell not unlike the combination of campfires, incense, and bacon. 

• Write here and write elsewhere

Yes and yes. A three-page explication of a poem by some dead puritan dude (not cool) and an article about meditation for the Immunitrition Newsletter (insanely cool). I wrote some articles for them this summer, and I'm really, really excited to be getting back into it. 

• Make a conscious decision to leave my comfort zone

Prompted the transition rant and currently scaring the everloving shit out of me: I'm choosing not to put an end to a situation that, in all honesty, I have no idea where it'll lead. I'm choosing to settle with inconsistency, embrace doubt, and hold off the decision-making until I'm given the opportunity to learn something about myself and all person[s] involved. Also, I like to pretend that commitment doesn't scare me way more than it should. 

• Take three six pictures of three six beautiful things.

(1). See above. 
(2). See above.
(3). See this way-cooler-than-the-generic-horizontal perspective of a tree. 

(4). See this awesome group of kids, who, despite their miserable expressions, are actually damn thrilled to be at this social gathering. 

(5). See this expertly-drawn portrait of me and my good friend Nick. 100% accurate and 112% relevant to the optimistic, spreading-the-love theme of this blog. 

(6). See below. 

Meditate

On and off for the past couple days, a few minutes here and there. I'm way overdue for a solid one-hour meditation. Contemplative Thought class tomorrow. Here's to hoping we stay put in the classroom this time. 

• Look up at the sky 

I don't particularly care if you guys are getting sick of these barely-visible mountains and all-look-the-same clouds. I don't think I'll ever fall out of love with the way this place looks at dusk. 

One more day, you guys. 

\