Day Twenty

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So a couple hours ago, right? I decide I'm hungry and head over to campus to find something to eat. There's this little sandwich place in the school's food court, and it being one of the only places still open, I walk over. Now, ever since I saw this video about the hidden powers of smiling (the one I linked for you guys on day eleven) I've been trying to get into the habit of walking around looking like I'm hitting a constant flow of Nitrous oxide to the veins. Apparently, sometime between then and now, I must've unknowingly mastered it. I don't even realize I'm smiling, but before I can open my mouth to order, the guy behind the counter goes, "Wow. Thank you. Thank you for smiling at me like that. I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate it." 

I reiterate: This dude--this dude that I've ever, ever met in my life--has just thanked me for   performing the world's third-most common facial expression while in his presence. He's just informed me that he's grateful about the fact that my mouth's turned upwards on either end. And not like I don't really, really appreciate when people thank me for doing something that requires virtually no exertion whatsoever, but I still can't help but find myself thinking, "Who goddamn does that?"

And then it hits me. Happy people do that. Happy people find every reason on earth to feel appreciation for whatever the hell life decides to throw at them that day. And if they can't think of anything off the top of their heads, they look at the first thing they see and decide it's just incredible. So, in retrospect, I realize I should've been all like, "No, Sandwich Man. Thank you. For inspiring this list of things that I'm grateful for, which I will be posting on my blog three hours from now in the future. Also, you should probably know that you make a bitchin' roast beef and provolone." 

1. Roast beef and provolone  2. My parents, who are actually so epic, they fell outside the grasp of the inevitable-eighth-grade-hate-your-parents phase. Think about the weight of that claim for a second. Yeah. Heavy shit. 3. The fact that this workload's finally easing up. 4. Massapequa, where I will be for three days this weekend. 5. The influx of awesome people that just keep showing up out of nowhere. 6. The thought that I can sleep in a little bit longer tomorrow. 7. <dweeb> The book that I can stay up late reading because I can sleep in a little bit longer tomorrow </dweeb>. 8. The person who selflessly helped me out today. 9. The snow boots that I've recently obtained, which admittedly perform a lot better than Chucks in the categories of impermeability and mountainous-non-backwards-sliding. 10. The fact that Finn started up today, despite the cold and the snow that I left on him for days. Never again, Finny. I'm so sorry. 

• Show two people how much they mean to me

(1). So I happen to know this lovely girl named Mayra, who I know through a mutual friend named Rosalie. Rosalie recently left to study abroad in Australia, and though she's currently having an awesome time and being all inspiring and whatnot, I think Mayra and I both hardcore miss her company. Today I texted Mayra and asked her to come get coffee with me, and when she agreed, we drank coffee and talked about things and had a marvelous time.  

(2). Showed my strong and insightful  friend Clarisse around the town of New Paltz, since going to school here without having experienced Main Street in all its hipsteresque glory just isn't alright. Here's a bunch of pictures we took and there's a lot more than three. #overachieving 

• Help out a stranger

Three impromptu compliments, two I-grant-you-the-right-of-ways out of parking lots into busy streets, and one held door for someone carrying forty pounds of energy drinks. So that counts more than a normal held door, so shut your judgmental face. 

• Live instead of sleeping

Got up and walked to class with Emily and her yoga-sack. 

• Do something good for myself, by myself

Cleared my schedule and finalized the decision that I was, in fact, going home this weekend, even despite the work and responsibilities that'll take a temporary back-burner because of it. Sometimes all we really need to do in order to make stuff pan out is to make the decision that it's going to. All these kitchen-related puns. I just can't escape the confines of this womanly brain I have. 

• Write here and write elsewhere

Yes, No. Dammit. 

• Make a conscious decision to leave my comfort zone

Meditation-related story time: For the first time in a really, really long forever, I sat cross-legged with my vulnerabilities and just looked at them. I let all of them just float to the surface--my worries and my flaws and the things that have happened and the things that never will--and then resolved to let them be. There was this brick in my chest and this coiling in my muscles and everything else that accompanies a terrible thought, but I didn't do a single thing to chase them away. And what do you know; they found their way out the door regardless. It's funny how we build up our own hype in our minds. It's also funny how it all falls apart when we're willing to shed some light on it. 

"No matter how we become trapped, our usual reaction isn't to become curious about it. We do not naturally investigate the strategies of ego. Most of us just blindly reach for something familiar...and then wonder why we stay dissatisfied." --Pema Chodron (The Places That Scare You) 

• Take three pictures of three beautiful things.

(1). See above. 
(2). See above four more times. 
(3). See this picture of these two incredible people who, seemingly out of nowhere, stumbled into my life as of recently. I had the pleasure of introducing them to one another this afternoon, and the first thing they did--perfect strangers not two seconds before, mind you--was hug each other. Not to sound like the biggest goddamn hippie right now, but I feel like that's probably how it should be. 

• Meditate

Roughly an hour and a half today. I'm admittedly pretty proud of that.  

• Look up at the sky 

Gorgeously clear all day today, and I totally assumed it'd stay that way all night. When I went outside to look, the sky had covered over. I should ask Sandwich Man his views on taking stuff for granted. I bet he'd have some damn good insight to go along with his bitchin' roast beef and provolone. 

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