Day Eighteen

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This was one of the PostSecrets this Sunday. I'm pretty sure they recycled old secrets this week--best of the Valentine's ones or whatever--but I'm really glad they did, because I somehow missed this guy the first time around. It may be insanely simple, but man, did it hit  hard. I stared at it for a good five minutes before I realized exactly why I love it so much. Simply put, "Where you invest your love, you invest your life." --Mumford & Sons

• Show two people how much they mean to me

(1). Stopped mid-essay paragraph to Skype with this one (who just so happens to be 3461.659 miles too far from me at the moment). She says she's having a good time in London, and I'm thrilled for her, but I'm admittedly going through some withdrawals. Probably because the only window I have into her life right now is this here blog which she never updates. Maybe if I plug it here she'll feel inclined to do so. 

(2). Stopped mid-sonnet to go watch the new episode of How I Met Your Mother with this guy, as well as have a little heart-to-heart. During the commercial breaks, of course. Priorities, you know? 

• Help out a stranger

Was walking out of Old Main today and fell into step with a girl named Sarah who's in American lit with me. Ended up asking her if she wanted to grab lunch, picked up the sushi/coffee tab, and had an hour-or-so long conversation. Turns out she's pretty damn epic, and now fits more into the friend category than the stranger one. 

• Live instead of sleeping

Slept through my first class. Way to suck, Maria. Way to suck. 

• Do something good for myself, by myself

Put some stuff on the back burner so I could feel like I actually have time to empty my lungs and fill them again. An incredible guy once told me, "Yeah, school's important, and you're there so you can eventually make a living. But you should never confuse making a living for actually living, because one's a hell of a lot more important than the other." 

• Write here and write elsewhere

Two-page analysis of a one-line Shakespeare quote. Never has the phrase "grasping at straws" been this appropriate. 

• Make a conscious decision to leave my comfort zone

 Today I burned bridges. I told someone straight-up, "You make me feel vulnerable, but not in a good way, and I think it's time we cut ties." Even minutes after I said it, I couldn't quit shaking. I hate cutting people out of my life. I hate feeling like they got the best of me and the situation. But it's so, so important to remember that "familiar" isn't always "safe," and safe should never feel like a hole in the pit of your stomach. If someone's out to make you compromise your principles and your self-worth and your happiness, then they don't belong anywhere that isn't your past. 

• Take three pictures of three beautiful things.

(1). See above. 
(2). See below. 
(3). See this picture of Mandato eating a plate of corn. 

Meditate

Granted I slept through my meditation course--I reiterate, way to suck--I sat still for fifteen minutes before I headed to campus today. I typically fail at finding time during the day, but I really should. It's a hell of a lot more beneficial than meditating right before bed, in which case I'm blissful for a grand total of three minutes before I conk the fuck out. 

• Look up at the sky 

Not much to see but clouds and haze right now, but the sunset--or lack thereof--was pretty sick. The sun got trapped in the fog and made everything look eerie and pinkish. I tried to get a picture of it, but it really wasn't transferring well to film. Guess that's a good reminder that photos and videos and memories aren't the moment. They're really just a representation of the moment, and if we try too hard to capture one, we'll miss it altogether. 

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