Day Ten

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So I didn't get back home this morning until seven. Was chilling at my friend's house until way late, and we ended up falling asleep for a bit. By the time he and I woke up, it was getting light out and I figured I'd better head home.  This is going to sound ass-backwards granted I seemingly can't get myself out of bed before noon, but dawn is hands down my favorite time. These past couple days I've been sort of murky-headed. Not unhappy, necessarily, or even bad, but just not one-hundred-percent present. There's been this constant something in the back of my mind, and maybe it's that restlessness I feel every time I know stuff's just about to pick up and switch around on me again. But regardless, this morning while I was driving back home, it was impossible to feel like that. It was impossible to feel anything but all-enveloping consciousness. I think that's why I'm so enamored with the dawn; it's this transitioning period that everyone takes for granted because it's so easy to miss, so if you're lucky enough to catch it, you can't help but be entirely awake.

• Show two people how much they mean to me

(1). Went and had dinner with my grandmother. To be honest, it's not like this was any skin off my back; this woman could boil a squirrel in a pot and I'd eat it. But despite how strong and confident and self-sufficient she is, I know she appreciates the company. 

(2). Offered to drive Paulie Cee when I knew he didn't have the gas for it. 

• Help out a stranger

Doing this new thing where I let people trying to get off side-roads and out of parking-lots go ahead of me during rush hour. In New Paltz, there's only really one main road going through the town, and around three or four in the afternoon, the traffic stacks up way past the bridge and its insane. This one time, a left turn took me fifteen minutes and it was the most frustrating thing in the world. People don't realize how little things like that can add to your overall stress level, and I don't think we should underestimate how easy it is to save someone some grief. 

• Live instead of sleeping

Yeah. Technically, I did do this one, but I pushed back going to bed instead of getting up out of it. College-kid life ftw. 

• Do something good for myself, by myself

Slowly but surely starting picking up my guitar again. I've been learning new songs here and there. I played this two-hour gig a week or two before I came home for break; pulled just about every song out of my repertoire for it and now I'm sick of all of them. If I get a few new ones under my belt I'll be way more likely to play. 

• Write here and write elsewhere

Check (late) and check (even later). 

• Make a conscious decision to leave my comfort zone

Put myself out there and tested the waters with something that scares the absolute shit out of me. All in all, it didn't go so badly. Just goes to show that out of all the worst-case scenarios in our head, only one might end up happening, and most of the time, it doesn't even. 

• Take three pictures of three beautiful things.

(1). See above. 
(2). See below. 
(3). See here:  

My roommate, Caitlin, having known of my love for fat birds, gave me this guy for Christmas. I've hung it from my rear-view mirror, and while I love having him there, it's this constant bittersweet reminder that she's not going to be around this semester. She's gone to study in London, and while I couldn't be happier for her and I wish her the best, she was my push behind transferring and my rock once I did. I'm genuinely going to miss her, but I'm looking forward to the strides that change should bring for the both of us.

Meditate

None today. 

• Look up at the sky 

Got a couple seconds of this before the clouds rolled in.

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