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"When giving careful and calculated thought on how else you might see certain situations differently than you now see them - including your entire life, for that matter - please keep in mind that occasionally being on 'the fringe,' is good. Real good."
Show two people how much they mean to me
(1). Fed DeBonis pancakes while exhausted and headache-ridden.
(2). Fed Qwazi pancakes while exhausted and headache-ridden.
- Help out a stranger
Today I turned around on the line in a craft store to tell this chick she had badass hair--midnight blue, of course--and we got to talking. Turns out she's headed to New Paltz next year, so I gave her some pointers and assured her she'd love it.
- Live instead of sleeping
It's sad how hard of a time I'm having with this one.
- Do something good for myself, by myself
Broke out the new paints my brother got me for Christmas. I went through three canvases, this one being the third. Nowhere near done, but I've been meaning to do something for Will for a while, and I'll take any bit of progress.
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- Write here and write elsewhere
Check on the first, and as for the second, I plan to set aside a couple minutes before I crash tonight.
- Make a conscious decision to leave my comfort zone
Hands down the most proud of myself I've been in weeks. Qwazi's got a new bike, and he asked me if I wanted to know what it was like to ride one. On top of my mother's you're-gonna-die voice resurfacing in my head every time I so much as look at the things, I'm shit-scared of roughly anything with a motor; nevermind the ones that have a hit-0r-miss center of balance. Took him up on his offer nonetheless, down the block and back. I'd be lying if I said I didn't come dangerously close to peeing myself.
- Take three pictures of three beautiful things.
(1). See above (or I'm hoping it'll be, after it's done).
(2). See below.
(3). See here.
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(2). See below.
(3). See here.
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Since I slept instead of living (was supposed to go to Will's tree early in the morning with the guys) I went by myself on my way back from the craft place. Every time I go, I find a couple more things that people have left, so while I was looking at them, I saw this woman across the street moving bags and bags of garbage out to the curb--probably stuff that got trashed in the hurricane. I assume she'd known Will, having lived right across from him, but I dunno how well, or if they'd ever spoken before. After I got into my car and was driving away, she caught my eye and waved to me. Sort of like she was saying sorry to me, even while she piled up all the stuff that she'd lost. I wanted to go back and see if she wanted help, but I broke down before I got the chance. I'm pretty sure I didn't know her--then again, I'm bad with names and even worse with faces-- but if I ever see her again, I'm going to tell her that her simple act of compassion helped way more than she knew. An impromptu reminder that we're never as alone as it seems.
- Meditate
Spent fifteen minutes or so on the back stairs while the sun was going down, closed my eyes, and just breathed.
- Look up at the sky
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Took this while I was at it. Is it just me, or was the sky extra vivid today?
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"Hands down the most proud of myself I've been in weeks. Qwazi's got a new bike, and he asked me if I wanted to know what it was like to ride one. On top of my mother's you're-gonna-die voice resurfacing in my head every time I so much as look at the things, I'm shit-scared of roughly anything with a motor; nevermind the ones that have a hit-0r-miss center of balance. Took him up on his offer nonetheless, down the block and back. I'd be lying if I said I didn't come dangerously close to peeing myself." YES! im proud of you too!
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